I’m a Russell Peters fan. If you haven’t seen his stand up, block out an hour of your life and search YouTube for the Comedy Now segment. Below is one of my favorite RP clips.

Growing up around a smörgåsbord of languages, surrounded by friends of all backgrounds, I’ve always appreciated the nuances and accents behind the world’s tongues, which partly explains why I find Mr. Peters so funny.

A friend sent me the following clip of Anjelah Johnson who sounds like an up-and-coming female version of RP.

Some have accused Mr. Peters and his ilk of being a racist and exploiting his own race for personal gain.  These same people no doubt find Hello Kitty and Teletubbies offensive as well.  And to them, I say, in my best Cantonese accent, which really isn’t very good,

“Yoh mutha is soooooo fat…”

This is on repeat in my car. Rockin’ out to “Y Si Yo Volviera A Nacer” by Los Alegres De La Sierra. Por la raza, guey.

This is probably like bumpin’ to Britney Spears, but what the hell. It’s catchy, and Latin sentimentality gets me.

A esa mujer
Yo le entregue el corazon
Cai redondito
Enamorado de sus ojos negros.

Y me la jugue
Por ella todo aposte
Le di mi vida sin pensar
Que yo era solo un juego.

Y me atrevo a decir

Que aunque de mi se burlo
Yo le doy gracias a Dios
Porque la puso en mi camino.

Y si volviera a nacer
Cometeria el mismo error
Yo volveria a caer
Con tal de disfrutar
Lo dulce de sus labios
Y si volviera a nacer
Le daria todo otravez
Ella me hizo tan feliz
Por ella conoci
Como es el paraiso.

Y me atrevo a decir
Que aunque de mi se burlo
Yo le doy gracias a Dios
Porque la puso en mi camino.

Y si volviera a nacer
Cometeria el mismo error
Yo volveria a caer
Con tal de disfrutar
Lo dulce de sus labios
Y si volviera a nacer
Le daria todo otravez
Ella me hizo tan feliz
Por ella conoci
Como es el paraiso.

Y si volviera a nacer…

I love you, my INSEAD J08 bloggers, but the seriousness of your recent posts, and all the talk about the 2006 Career Statistics is a bit depressing. So, I bring you another one of DTLF’s infamous, seemingly nonsensical, yet deeply philosophic posts.

For some reason, Hallonman’s post about INSEAD’s Building Business in China course reminded me of this:

And no; I am not a flagrant racist who walks around all day in white sheets, burning crosses or anything. I love my Chinese brothers and sisters as much as I love my own. I just find Cantonese to be a wonderfully colorful language. Every time I hear it, I can’t help but think that a fight is about to break out and that I’ll finally be able to see a real, live Dim Mak.

“What the hewl is a Dim Mak?” you may ask. Let me enlighten you.

I will never leave the ’80s, ever.

I’m no hybrid-driving, carbon-neutral, used toilet paper recycling, “the sky is melting” environutalist, but I try to do what I can for El Mundo.

If you’re one of those criminal, pirate-y types, find a copy of this song and download it, and I guarantee you’ll be humming along. Its quite catchy.

In a past life, I could belt this out and almost pass for a member of Maná… Almost.

Cuenta el abuelo que de niño
El jugó, entre árboles y risas y alcatraces de color
Recuerda un río transparente y sin olor
donde abundaban peces, no sufrían ni un dolor.
Cuenta el abuelo de un cielo muy azul
En donde voló papalotes que el Mismo construyó
El tiempo pasó y nuestro viejo ya murió
Y hoy me pregunté después de tanta destrucción

CORO

¿Dónde diablos jugarán los pobres niños?
¡Ay, ay ay! En dónde jugarán
Se está pudriendo el mundo, ya no hay lugar

La tierra está a punto de partirse en dos
El cielo ya se ha roto, ya se ha roto
El llanto gris, la mar vomita rios de aceite
Sin cesar y hoy me pregunté, después de tanta destrucción

CORO

¿Dónde diablos jugarán los pobres Nenes?
¡Ay, ay, ay!. ¿En dónde jugarán?
Se está partiendo el mundo, Ya no hay luga

I’ve been weighing the costs and benefits of taking a vacation before I leave for Fonty. Is taking a vacation before the madness starts advisable? If so, is the opportunity cost reasonable? Will lounging on the beach of an un-named Latin American country increase my brain (or liver) capacity enough to survive P1/P2?

So in preparation for the possible vacation, I’ve been paying extra special attention in mis clases del Español, just in case I have to usar lo. For an added dose of Español, I’ve removed all local language music from my car, and replaced it with ranchera. The lyrics are slowly starting to make sense and I’m picking up more and more, namely the oft appearing mi corazon, mi amor, and, my favorite of the week, “Prefiero morir / Si aqui tu no estas.” Well, the ranchera cantantes definitely get an A+ in the subtlety department.

How’s everyone’s housing and visa logistics coming along? I’ve noticed a trend towards more-than-mild anxiety and light panic developing on NetVestibule, and don’t know whether to chime in with “The sky is falling!” or continue to put off everything I know I should be doing.

A warm welcome to my first Korean (여보세요, 나의 한국 친구!) and second Indian IP address/reader.

My visitantes map is going crazy. What’s going on, here? The Midwestern United States readership is about to edge out the West. Go Spurs, down with the Jazz? I’d make a Kansas joke, but I’m afraid one potential reader in particular would crucify me. Art imitating life? DTLF running out of content? All of the above?

I’ve been taking clases en espanol in order to satisfy the third language requirement for INSEAD, much to the detriment of my malnourished wallet. At first, I had the grandiose idea of enrolling for a university-level course and pretending, to myself, that I was an undergraduate again. After realizing that university schedule + work = does not compute, and the fact that a university most likely wouldn’t admit me for one course, I lowered my sights and searched for local college courses. Same deal. Great. Now what?

Google search and hit the “I’m feeling lucky” button. Lo and behold, a local language school popped up. Scoped it out, looked good, signed up for two adjacent level classes at the same time. This’ll be great, I thought.

—

Day One, Class 1

Maestro: Hola. ¿Cual es tu nombre?

DTLF: Me llamo DTLF.

Maestro: Can you spell that, please? (en Ingles)

DTLF: Deeee, teeee…

Maestro: Slow down, slow down. One more time? (en Ingles)

—

Class 1 is basically spoon-fed beginner’s Spanish, even though it’s marketed as “Advanced Beginner.” The farthest it goes is to “DTLF, ¿te gustas dulces?” Definitely not what I was looking for, and, surprise, non-refundable class fees!

—-

Day One, Class 2

Maestra: <Really fast, really long string of staccato Spanish that I still haven’t managed to translate, accompanied by a searching gaze in my direction, followed by a look of pity as she understands how out of my league I am.>

Maestra turns to another student

Maestra: <Yet another really fast, really long string of staccato Spanish that I still haven’t managed to translate>

Other Student: Si.

Maestra: Today, we will be covering the imperfect irregular reflexive preterite subjunctive quasi-indirect pronoun. You’re familiar with this, no? (en Ingles, for my benefit)

DTLF executes a textbook facepalm.

EDIT: For those of you who are not familiar with a facepalm, here’s an illustration of Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the SS Enterprise in ASCII!

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—-

Class 2 is akin to a university level Spanish class, even though it’s marketed as the next step past Class 1. Day 2, Class 2 is in 2 hours. Good times.