Esposos

Through some back-of-the-napkin analysis done with the data available on NetVestibule (INSEAD’s student intranet, or as Byoost calls it, INSEAD’s Hot or Not), it seems that there are going to be quite a few students who are bringing “partners.”

I love the word choice. A supposedly “freer” school, not constrained by overbearing “American political-correctness,” uses the term partner instead of husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, donkey, etc. Why not just call them Domestic Co-Habitants? Living Tax Breaks?

Don’t get me wrong; I’m all for partnership and admire those who are bringing significant others, let alone kids. Perhaps I’m just jealous and lonely, deep down in the black empty void known as my soul, but I think that the upcoming year will be quite the test for couples.

—–

Cast - Male Student, Female Partner

<The sound of fumbling keys mashing in to a lock can be heard off stage>

Enter Stage Right, Male Student

FP: Where have you been?! It’s four in the morning! Why didn’t you pick up your phone?!

MS: Oh, my head…

FP: Have you been drinking again?

MS: Well, that <insert disagreeable group member here> showed up late to the PIM group meeting again and we couldn’t agree on a framework for our paper, so the hour meeting became a three hour meeting and I had told <insert wonderful, well-rounded, super fun, knock-out gorgeous McKinsey consultant here> that I’d swing by her chateau party after the meeting and…

FP: Wait a minute. You went over to her chateau?!

MS: Look, I came to INSEAD to network, not to get nagged at!

Distant thunder can be heard as lightning appears in FP’s eyes

<Cue Mortal Kombat music>

—–

Cast - Female Student, Male Partner

<Giggling, and the sound of fumbling keys mashing in to a lock can be heard off stage>

Enter Stage Right, Female Student

MP: Where have you been?! It’s four in the morning! Why didn’t you pick up your phone?!

FS: Oh, my head…

MP: Have you been drinking again?

FS: <Giggle> A little champagne never hurt anyone. Well, that <insert disagreeable group member here> showed up late to the PIM group meeting again and we couldn’t agree on a framework for our paper, so the hour meeting became a three hour meeting and I had told <insert Top Gun pilot turned McDreamy Medecins Sans Frontieres physician here> that I’d drop by the get together at his apartment after my meeting and…

MP: Wait a minute. You went over to his apartment?!

FS: Look, I came to INSEAD to network, not to get nagged at!

Tears begin to stream from MP’s eyes as, shoulders slumped, he trudges to the couch and buries his head in a pillow, lamenting his choice to tag along as a Male Partner

Edit: <Cue Toni Braxton’s “Unbreak My Heart”>

—–

Yeah, I went out for a night with three of the girls yesterday. Le sigh. I’ve known them for 19, 16 and 14 years, respectively. One is married, one will likely be married soon and the last, bless her soul, is marriage averse as she’s on the career track. Talk inevitably turned to what I was doing with my life, to which I gave the stock reply, “Running away, again.”

I did not intend to look for Mr/Mrs Right during my time at INSEAD, but perhaps I should. I’m not getting any younger, after all.